Strange Day For Dana

I don't have a picture to post. I just have something to write. Maybe words make the uneasiness flow away...

What saddens me is that I have met a couple of people in my job that I wish my mom was around to meet. I believe that Margo would have understood them also. Their beliefs and passion in life are so similar. Almost strangely ironic.

Aislinn's cat is passing way. Today Aislinn was detached and with her cat Witchy, while she tried to put on her happy face. Poor Aislinn wanted to be with Witchy, but I believe she came to work to let her go. Witchy is her cat and is 18 years old dying of cancer. Witchy, in my own words, is going to be with us for a very short time. I would not be surprised if she was waiting for Aislinn to go to work so she could pass. Poor Aislinn, I think deep down that was what she was preparing for also. Witchy has told Aislinn in dreams that she was leaving. I believe this is true.

Why is it so hard for us to allow loved ones to go? Selflessness... We need them, we want them, so their souls stay. It is not till we allow them to go that they can be a peace. I listened to Aislinn. That is hard for me to do. For some reason I always have a story to tell or what happened to me that was just like what is happening to them. For once I tried to not to sympathize with her, but to LISTEN. And console her. I told her that she needed to tell Witchy to go and she did not need her to stay. Wow does that sound Corny, but I do believe that they stay to console us.

My mom would have LOVED Aislinn and Margo would have too. I have learned a lot from Aislinn, Vanessa, Patricia, and Vera. I wish mom was around to talk to Aislinn. They had so many things in common. And Vera, reminds me of Margo. Her facial expressions are so uncanny. and Patricia has so much fun, I inspire to be like her. I want to take art classes and have ME TIME. I want to explore, but have my family too.

When Vanessa and Ailsinn talk about signs and astrology, I am sorry that mom and Margo did not get to meet such neat people. They were into that and taro cards and all. Mom and Margo loved Sylvia Brown and went to see her once when she was in KC. You know...I saw a commercial the other day and almost cried. It sounded like Sylvia Brown had died and instead it was her last tour. Her last date to see KC. Chelsie thought the same thing. Weird how I am constantly thinking of them EVERY DAY. Is it all the reminders? You would think that 2.5 years later I would not be soooooooooooo sensitive to them.

I MISS MY mom. She was the only one to listen to me babble. Patricia walks off sometimes mid sentence and others could care less of my babble. I can read it in their face. I miss my mom that would listen to me. In the shower I talk to myself. I have friends, but how boring is it for them to listen to me reminisce. That is all I have left. I can never replace the friendship I had with mom and Margo. Margo was crazy, but listened. Mom loved the fight. She would go to battle with me.

Which reminds me of the boy I wanted to harm today when he tweaked my daughters arm in Karate. I heard him say "that is what you get" after she kicked him loose. When he was told to come talk to me he acted so Innocent...I reminded him I heard and saw the whole thing. When he told me he did not realize her hurt her till her bone snapped...it took all I had not to cry from the anger. I kept my cool and I tried not to cry...I watched Chelsie and waited to see if she was seriously injured. She later smile and then practiced moves with him. She was fine, but I was not.

What a strange day?!